Rule of Thumb to Delivery

I'm saving this for future references for other women as well as myself when I have any other future kids. This is an excerpt for an email I typed to my friend who is about to have her baby soon!

I don't think using epidural is good. I did a lot of reading online and observed from my friends. Epidural can lead to a lot of other things being used, e.g. forceps, need to do C-sec, etc. However, epidural could also be used and the delivery is smooth sailing. Lots of my friends used epidural and they are OK....... For myself I wanted a pain-medication free birth and as natural as possible so I already had a mindset to say no to all medication they keep pressing to you.

Being your first baby, don't be in a hurry to go to the hospital. If your water not pecah yet, just feel pain, dont need to immediately go admit. My rule of thumb is to go when you feel the pain you cannot handle d (and contractions still reasonably apart)... then kira kira 30 mins to reach hosp/admit/check in/setlte on bed... should be timing just right.... if you go in too early, you will be very stressed from the environment, the nurses buzzing around you, equipment hooked up to u, etc.... and this causes the mom to give in to painkillers like epidural when the 'real pain' from the contractions comes.

Once you take epidural ... you will feel no contractions and wont know when to push, etc. Moms will usually depend on doc/nurses to know when to push. This is call 'purple pushing'. This is not natural because moms are supposed to push when the pain hits to trigger other natural childbirth processes. When you're not following the natural childbirth process, there is a potential of things being forced to happen before the timing is right...leading to usage of other medication/causing complications...

Unless there is a real reason to be induced, do not opt to be induced. This is an example of forcing the womb to open when your baby is still not ready to come out. However, I know doctors only recommend induction when you're pass your due date and baby is in danger of pooping in the womb, etc. But bear in mind there are some very teruk doctors who wants to increase the bills/save time and tell the mom to induce so the baby can come out cepat. If that's the reason, dont go for induction. Why dont want induction? Induction is very painful. It starts your contractions immediately and very closely and all the pain comes at once....

Last time I nearly passed my EDD and doctor said i should go in for induction if pass 3days. He checked me for dilation and also did something in the session. He "scratched" the membranes inside. This will sensitize the uterus to begin contractions. I started feeling funny that same night (like beginning of period pain) and started to have minor bleeding throughout the next 1-2 days. Then afterwards contractions started and i delivered. Lucky no need to through induction!

Relax and believe that your body knows what to do. During delivery, you let your body take charge. Doctors and nurses and yourself only react to events. Of course unless you have some complications during your pregnancy, you cannot rely on your body, but if you're healthy, believe that the delivery will be OK.

Childbirth is meant to be painful, but it's just a short period of big pain during the 'active labor' phase, i.e. just before the baby pops out. The many hours before active labor, it will still hurt but it's like period pain or tummy pain...but you can still sit up, walk around, talk, etc.

So keep reminding yourself that the "real pain" is just momentary. Must ask your hubby to be present. When you hit "active labor" you will start to abuse him and scold him for making you pregnant ahahahahaaaaaaaa~~

Active labor for me took 45 mins with the last 30mins at the unbearable stage. So that's not too bad. People said i have a very easy birth due to short timing. I don't think it was 'easy' cuz it still hurt like hell. However it was only 45 minutes (but at that time it felt like berjam-jam) and I cannot argue with them because some people go through 12-hour labors. Frankly, I think those with 12 hours of labor are not 12 hours of active labor. Just that they admit at the start of contractions and had to lie in the hospital bed for 12 hours until they finally reach active labor.

When you have 2nd baby, you cannot follow this rule anymore because some people just pop without much leading time/pain.

Hope I gave you lots of good info and lessen your fear. Childbirth is painful and that's for sure. But every woman is equipped for it and they can handle the pain. Pray a lot and trust that God will let your birth be how He intended it to be....and that your body will perform as designed. This is from my own personal research and experience only. Please do not think this is set in stone. Different women are built differently with their own issues.