I'm a M.O.T.H.E.R

I have come to accept the responsibilities and expectations of being a mother to my kid. Remember my inward resistance towards the work and fatigue that come together with the role 2 posts ago? It still comes and goes (especially during sleep-deprived mornings) but another stronger yet silent feeling of love for my kid has resided in me.

(I'm so accomplished at writing about my dissatisfaction and on what ails me that I feel embarassed talking about the more positive aspect of things now.)

I'm much more tolerant of the work and is grateful for my mom in law who does a huge bulk of everything, including the preparation and freezing of Abby-boo's meal. Then she throws in household chores and cooks for us as well. She's a superwoman! I must always remember to show my appreciation and never take her for granted.

I also watch out for my own trigger points; like things which press my hot buttons to make me get all upset and resentful of my 'trials' and sometimes even fling me into depression. I know that lack of sleep usually gets me all negative-thinking and instills me with this feeling of hopelessness and self-pity. A long no-apologies nap fixes that quite effectively, unless if the sleep deprivation also comes hand in hand with PMS...then that's a different story...

Then there's stuff at work which bothers me to no end even after hours. Things that usually deals with me having to eat humble pie and stuff. I have a pretty huge ego for a woman. Then there's those belittling things which sometimes people say without realizing that their being insensitive and they usually do not think any further of it, where else I will dwell and dwell and dwell on those words until I'm all spitting mad inside.


All these things I take note of and any change of emotional temperature within me I will carefully evaluate and manage. That's something I can at least do.


Looking at happy things, Abby-boo is almost 7.5 months now. She'll be mobile soon. She's at that stage where she's able to get onto her fours but couldn't yet figure out how to go forward. She just rocks front and back like she's doing some yoga stance. However, she's starting to cruise by pulling herself up by holding on to the furniture and can even manage some steps while she's up and standin' tall. Everybody tells us that we'll be starting our cow-herding phase soon.


Hubs and I are pleased at her progress, and always look forward to see her perform her new tricks. Abby-boo also eats well and consumes huge amounts of pumpkin, sweet potato, rice, oats, carrot, spinach, corn, apple, avocado, pear, banana, chicken, potato, papaya and peas. Recently, we introduced beetroot to her palate and the next in line is edamame and fish. It's always a pleasure watching her eat.



All these things bring me joy and gives me that very cliched 'worth-it' feeling. I notice I started feeling better about motherhood when Abby-boo started to respond more and express more of herself. She's a little person now who will someday grow into an adult who will grow into a loving relationship with her Heavenly Father and mirror the image of Christ. I want to sow the right seeds into her put her on the right path.

Who knows, I might even have more kids later. :)