Ha. Ha. Very funny....

Found this fwded email sitting smugly in my Inbox today. It's from the boyfriend.

New Banking ATM Procedures

Sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the below outlined procedures when accessing their accounts.

MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months of careful research.

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag; remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Turn the radio down.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine due to its excessive distance from the vehicle.
8. Insert card.
9. Reinsert card the right way up.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check make up in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Recheck make-up again.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver lined up behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26. Release Parking Brake

Actually it's pretty funny. I do check my make-up more than necessary, to the point I'm doing it just to admire my own reflection. XD Yes I'm vain to boot, and pretty critical on my appearance. Sometimes women (and some men) can't help but do this, you know?

Yes yes, I confess that I've in fact driven for a few metres (not miles) without releasing the handbrake once; as also with some of my other girlfriends (her car started smoking). There were also countless times where we change lanes without indicating or looking at their rear/side mirrors. This is mostly due to the fact that they are busy yapping and gossiping. My mom is known to drive dangerously when you chat with her while she's driving. Yes, some people can't multitask. For example, I can't talk while I play the piano. So yes, you must forgive us of our weaknesses.

Note: The author feel a need to mention that she has an acquaintance who claimed he can eat while he poops.

However, I'm starting to suspect that the members of the male species do commit atrocious car crimes like these too...but there's this huge conspiracy to keep humiliating deeds by men under lid. Back in college, I remember a guy friend of mine (a huge F1 fan who's constantly talking loudly about fast sporty cars) who made the incredibly stupid mistake of filling diesel into his petrol car. The car went for a few metres before spluttering to a undeserved death. Incredible!

Note: The author feel a need to mention that this particular guy was the laughing stock of the whole class until now. He's a respectable IT professional now.

Oh dear, I hope none of my ex-college mates are reading this right now. But anyhow, here's a comic strip that drives close to home for some of the "car enthusiasts" out there. Please don't post hate comments. Also, I filched this strip from my forums. If you know who is the owner/creator of the strip, do tell me so I may give credit to the right person.