Fuzzy Brained

I didin't get enough sleep yesterday. Now I have fuzz in my brain and my line of vision is blur. But I think it's just laziness taking up tangible form. When you're lazy too long, it sorta cooks itself up into this heavy black tar of doom that radically subdues the urgent need to do any work. I also got the Thursday blues, because it's nearing the weekends and I'm already in rest mode.

Don't you hate it when you need to run errands and do chores during the weekends? My weekends are like fleeting sacred moments before the insanity of work starts again. And this Saturday I need to drive all the way down to Klang to get someone to fix my apartment and reactivate the electricity. Dumb ex-tenants who didin't pay their bills. I hope Sureen comes with me so I don't psych myself to death during the long drive. Okay, I could probably take this opportunity to bring her along for a facial too. But I might end up paying because I'm such a needy and eager-to-please little idiot.

It's October already, and October's a month of birthdays. Need to save up for presents. Just shot a mail to Pei to start thinking of Tee's birthday pressie this coming 10th. Then on the 19th's my little bro's turn. I wonder if he'll be happy with just a trip to KL. Hey, talking about him, I just remembered he's taking his PMR exams about this time too. Will need to call him tonight (if I remember). Oh boy oh boy. Then, on the 26th is Keat's. I'm running out of ideas on what to get this guy. He's the toughest customer yet. But I guess he's having a worse time trying to think of what to get me in return as well. Ha ha, good luck if you're reading this! Muahaha!

I really miss my family. To think that my sister is going to be somebody's wife in the next two years or so is just so.....weird. Still couldn't get used to the idea yet. She still behaves like an anime character....or more like an anime hamster character.....Hyper like hell and can scrunch out more than 3 facial expressions under one second. T_T

And my lil' bro....last time I went home he played the cello he brought home from school for me. It was so funny because there are 3 cellos in the school band but only one bow. Everyone had to take turns to use the bow. Otherwise it's just plucking plucking at the strings. Dumb. XD So yeah, and he showed me his drawings. Seems to have improved a lot since the last time i sneaked a look at his sketchpad. Sad thing is, he's not using his WACOM due to some corrupted driver issues with the PC. That was a waste of money and a pity, because if he starts now, he'll be so awesomely good by the time he's 20. I suddenly even got this perfectly stupid idea that maybe someday in the future, we could be a brother and sister manga team from Malaysia! I'll draw and he tones! (I'm mean!) We'll be Invincible....!!!

Okay.

So I was thinking, I created lots of familial ties in ROMB because of how these ties mean a lot to me in my life. I used to have this weird edgy relationship with my parents. Never did realise I love them at all until my twenties. All the while I was like growing up in a house full of strangers who hated me. And all they do is yell and hit me. I just did not get it. That's like San and dad. Deep roots of angry misunderstandings and hatred during his teens that somehow just turned out good as San matures. I'm looking forward to further delve into this side of ROMB. Right now, San's nothing but this weird bishie with an agenda, quirky at times and just plain lame at most. And then there's the Poh siblings. The sister who sacrifices it all for her brother. Very noble but actually very stupid if you look at her inner conflicts. It's always her needs vs Matt's needs. She knows what she has to do but still, she takes pleasure in making herself suffer in the process of doing it, just to increase the value of her sacrifice in her mind. It makes it more worth it? More pain more gain? Aida's made herself semi-masochistic from years of repression.

I realise as I type this that I've done a fairly bad job in keeping the characters consistent. The personality development is still too superficial. I guess I can't do so much since this is something I update once a week. Just have this habit of building and building them in my head that I always forget that the readers do not know them as well as i do. Ah, at least at the end of this, ROMB will be something special to me, if not to them.

So now I'm pushing to finish the Matt splashpage by this week. I fear that if I take too long a time, I'll end up scrapping the whole thing. It doesn't look that good at the moment. I need some refs. Gone are the days when I could paint without refs, straight outta my head. Do you actually believe that drawing skills could depreciate? I actually don't. Maybe I have higher expectations now. I want my pieces to look more realistic and anatomically-accurate perhaps, and background color washes just don't do it for me anymore. One of these days, I'll need to learn how to put in time to paint backgrounds.