The baby issue has deteriorated into a dangling carrot sorta situation. I’m not even going to explain what happened. I just got really tired of placing my hopes and energy on it. Think it’s best to revert back to the good ‘ol watevuh mentality and see if I still feel like it when hubby wants it. Seriously, I’m disappointed enough now to feel revulsion at the idea of having a baby. I just push the whole issue into God’s hands and let His plan unravel. Migration stuff as well. This is just too much for a chronic list-maker and plan-layer like me.
On the brighter side, my prayers have been answered! My love for ROMB has been reignited. Last weekend in Seremban and it just happened. I was lying in bed, mulling over nothing serious, and I got that really hard-to-ignore itch to continue the ROMB story. I actually got a few scenes playing in my head! That hasn’t happened since... 2006? This is wonderful :). Could it be caused by my unhappiness over the recent events in real life? But who wants to spend time moping! Back to the drawing board I go.
I sure love this feeling when I’m doing ROMB. It’s so objective-driven....so focused.... and the satisfaction of knowing that I’m making progress with each page that I update. I hope I make the readers happy (whatever’s left of them since the multiple hiatuses), and most importantly, I want to feel solid, full and overflowing again.
At this age and time, Happiness is an elusive spirit.
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