On Adopting

I read an article recently on adoption and I don't know why the idea seems to have taken seed and festered in my mind. Now and then my thoughts keep flitting back to it whenever I think of having a second child. My family, both my side and my husband's, did not have much luck with adopting. Both cases turned out to be a nightmare, with the kids growing up into delinquents who subsequently went into drug addiction, theft and went on to break their parents' hearts. Also, as there'll always be some stigma attached to the issue, and this by itself, I do believe, affects the growth and development of the child, causing him to be pretty messed up by the time he reaches adulthood.

Then, there's the whole sense of rejection by one's own flesh and blood. Not an easy thing to deal with especially if you're not getting unconditional love in a God-infused upbringing. Adults can be insensitive, and coupled with a sure-fire recipe of low self-esteem and jeers at school, the kid will be all set on the road to self-destruction.

I suppose not all of this is true, and I'm mostly pulling all these 'facts' out of my ass. It could be that the root of the problem drills down to the true motive of the adoption. Children are smart little creatures who can sense our less-than-perfect behavior. Or maybe it is our deeds which let slip when we're not functioning with a pure heart. The tongue betrays the evil of a human heart, after all.

Hubs hates the idea. But all those kids in the church orphanage breaks my heart. People usually go for babies, and abandoned babies (especially those who appear in the papers) get adopted so fast even before you can say 'CHUP!'. I'm thinking more about those older kids beyond toddlerhood, who have lost their baby fat and mostly stringy and gangly. They know their parents do not want them and there'll be no Mom or Dad who give a damn if they make it in life or not. I think orphans at this age are the saddest lot.

Now that's said, I've gotten it off my chest. Won't be totally ruling this out in the future. If there's a kid at my doorstep, I'm not about to send him packing to a less-than-capable parental replacement.