This is the birth story of Abigail Tan, our first child, on the 9th of January 2008 @ 11.40am.
I figured if I blog about it and keep a record of this somewhere, I'd forget how totally painful it was and will be nuts enough to want to have another baby later! ... Yeah yeah, all women say they don't want another kid after the first few weeks of childbirth, but then 1-2 years later, they're back to hinting their hubs that they need another bub at home. I guess we seem to have this memory loss gene when it comes to having kids. If not for this, the world will be a boring quiet old place.
A couple of days before Abby decided to make her entrance, I was at my doc's office for my final appointment, in which he earlier slyly implied that I'll need to be induced, as my baby is kinda big @ 3.2kg. I was fervently hoping for a natural birth so my body can naturally go into labor on its own time without any meds. I've read about other women's experiences which were much more painful due to induced labor, where some were followed by epidural, and then forceps.... and then the vacuum....; some even ended up with C-secs! That will totally mess me up for the next 90 years and I couldn't allow it to happen. And Thank God that it didin't...
So Doc asked me to shrug off my drawers so he can perform a cervix examination. (In the midst of the tussle with my clothing and and my clumsiness, I managed to lose my underwear after it fell into the gap between the bed and the wall. The nurse had to get herself into a butt-pointing-into-the-air pose to retrieve it for me through the gap). To my surprise, I was already 3cm dilated!
Doc said, "That'll be as far it will go without contractions. So remember to come in for the scheduled induction on Monday at 7am."
OK lor.... :-(
So that day I went back and prayed that contractions will start. God must be listening at that time because I realised I started to bleed slightly after that. That was good. Maybe the vaginal exam managed to irritate my cervix causing it to respond. Later that evening, I had some mild menses-like pains but it didin't proceed to anything more interesting. It stopped shortly before night time and the next day came and went without anything happening. Ah, well.
Then Friday came. At 3am, I woke up to the same menses-like pains. This time it was accompanied by heavier bleeding and some mucousy discharge. Must be bloody show or part of it, I told myself. I timed the pains and they come and go between 8 minutes, lasting around half a minute. They were doggedly consistent even when I got outta bed to check my work email. I even managed to send out a few bossy messages to people and telling them that I might be admitted today (to everyone's horror cuz like what the hell is she still doing online!?). Then I went up to the room again and roused Hubs from bed. He woke up immediately and was calm and businesslike, making sure we did not forget to pack anything to the hospital.
We got ready and by 8.30am, my pains felt more like birth pains, with increasing discomfort and pressure on my back. I remember rolling on the living room sofa and groaning, clutching at the cushions dramatically like I'm in some soap opera.
The hospital was just 5-10 mins away. Secretly, I was hoping for some sort of traffic so that I can dilate more and avoid getting admitted to early. Upon reaching, Hubs shuffled us through the reception and the nice lady there urged me into a wheelchair. (wow, my very own wheelchair!) I was carted up to the Maternity ward, was made to get into a fashionable hospital gown of lime green,(with 2 pair of strings to hold your modesty together - but one pair was torn so it was just hanging off me) and got my ass up onto the labor bed (is that what they call those collaspsible beds where the nurses can attach the stirrups?)
In the ward, I noted it was 9.30am. Action begins soon, I remember telling myself.
Nurses strapped the CTG machine to me to monitor the baby's heartbeat and my contractions. Hubs had a ball analysing when my next wave will hit and sometimes can even knowingly say, "That was a pretty bad one, huh..." Later he reported to me that the final super-painful contractions almost peaked at 100 and never really tapered off much, hanging on around 40-50. I'm totally wondering now if women with induced births actually hit higher points. But OK ladies, it's not like it's something you're trying to achieve.
Then someone stuck an enema up my ass and the next thing I know I was on the throne, with chattering teeth, crapping my guts out. Glad to say they still practise this as I've heard of women giving birth first and pooping on their kids' heads afterwards. So not wanting that to happen to me. I will be embarassed for life.
Doc flew into the room and stuck his finger up me again but this time his eyes widen and he went, "Wahhhh...WAHHHHH...!! You're around 8cm dilated!"
That was the best news I've received. "How long before it's over, Doc?"
"Erm...waterbag not yet break... you kena wait for more dilation at the moment and I'll be back when you're ready to push. If you're waterbag not gone by then, I'll break it for you. Not painful one, don't worry" he said with a small smile (which I didn't completely trust) and he hilangkan diri already. Damn.
What happened after that was not a blur, like most women say. I started moaning and clutching desperately at the siderails of the bed a lot, and got told by the nurses to stop yelling too much as it will deplete my energy. ("Just breath through your contractions la adikkkk."... Easier said than done la, kakakkkk) One of the nurses scrambled for the gas mask but I declined the gas not so politely as I've heard from many people that it makes it worse. Just gets you real high without doing anything for the pain, but disorientating and confusing you. I think know how that feels .... like I had too much of vodka a couple of years ago and couldn't come down from the nasty high for a couple of hours. Not fun at all.
The contractions are no joke starting then. There's some time between them for me to loosen up before the next one hits. Hubs was routinely offering me water to sip and providing support and awkwardly petting me. I remember somewhere in between it all, towards the end, I told him I'm not wanting to go on with the birth anymore...can I just go home or something. And in a moment of weakness, I remembered saying, "I'm not having another kid anymore!" despite my numerous proclaimations of wanting a big family before this. I think the experience could have scarred him for life. Later he told friends, "See her so suffer la, my heart also drop..." Ain't he just the sweetest?
By 11am, I told (screamed at) the nurse that I think I feel like pushing. It's a feeling of some sort of pressure on the rectum, you know like when you wanna go No.2 but you're not actually there yet. No, none of that oh I can't wait I need to push sorta feeling I read from other people's birthstories. This is just a totally ignorable feeling, which somehow in my painful haze I realised that the pressure at the rectum could be it! I think I'm pretty dense.
Nurses came streaming in and the bed I was on totally transformed into something with stirrups, with the lower half removed. Doc breezed in and said, "Wah your membranes gone d! Good wor!" And I promptly thought, "Wah safe money!" I also noticed they didin't offer me epidural, maybe because I was already quite advanced. Another area to gloat on later. Teruk or not me...
Doc said, "OK will be over soon ah... you work hard ok, and can push when you feel the contractions."
I said, "How much longer, Doc?"
"Around 10 minutes la..."
Wah I so happy when I heard that, so I pushed and pushed. But it went on for 1 hour before Abby finally came out. I got TIPUz-ed! I initially didin't know how to push, and did it in short painful bursts. According to Hubs, when I did that, he can see Abby's head slowly coming out, but when I stopped, the head goes back into the birth canal. Jeez, I'm glad he didin't tell me then and there or I'll patah semangat directly already. Later the nurse coached me on pushing, to take a deep breath and push long and hard. No screaming whatsoever, please. That's just for movies, and it worked. Abby made more progress along the birthcanal.
Doc announced that he will give me a small episiotomy so that I won't tear myself up too much. I asked him if it will hurt and he said NO. But I felt it and my ass lifted up the bed for a few seconds. Alamak, kena TIPUzed again.... Hubs said Doc made the cut twice because the first one wasn't enough. I wish Doc didin't warn me beforehand, cuz it got me all harried up expecting the cut to happen and when it did, it stung quite a bit. Pain is so much of a psychological thing in my books...
The best moment was when everyone was behaving like berserked cheerleaders, urging me to go on and assuring me that I'm doing such a great job. The room was absolutely ringing with their encouragement and shouts.
...and suddenly, Hubs excitedly exclaimed "Baby's head's out! Lots of HAIR!"
Then Doc got all serious-like and told me to go for 1 more hard push followed by a small push before I feel a bunch of slippery stuff falling out from my rear end. It was, seriously the best feeling ever (not physically, but mentally), cuz I know the pain would be over finally. It was 11.40am and Abby was born. I didin't even feel them clamp down on the umbilical cord.
I later delivered the placenta and Doc stitched me up. Then he did the blood clot removal thing which still makes my toes curl when I think about it. Hubs said that Doc had his fingers inside me to soak up the blood and remove the clots. *cringes* Wasn't too much of a pain, but pretty uncomfortable. I was just glad later that it's over and was totally grateful that Doc was fast and efficient! Good job Doc!
Baby was brought into my arms and the little fella demonstrated pretty impressive neck strength in trying to hold up her head while searching for my boob. Her lungs are quite powerful too. The shrieking from her was spectacular when the nurse was sucking out mucus and fluids out from her nose and mouth. Can't blame her, I would complain if a tube is roughly shoved into me like that.
The Supersmile pic
I did not experience the rush of endorphins some women do after a natural birth, but we were happy enough by ourselves. I cleaned myself and sat up and walked around a couple of hours after the birth. It wasn't too bad now that I think of it....but at that time I remember saying to myself again and again that DANG, IT HURTED ME SO!... lol
People say, at least the hard part is over... but I tell you, that's a hideous LIE. Giving birth was the easy part! Taking care of the baby once she's out is the hard part.
But that's something for another post. I'm just glad the first part is over! :)
From the day I was born until the time my daughter was delivered recently, I wasn't used to living any other way except for myself. The years of selfish living, of making myself happy and achieving my desires has taken its toll. Getting married 2 years ago didin't make much of difference, because couplehood was a part in my life since my teens and it does play a huge part in the self-gratification. 
