Our Limited Existence

So many people getting cancer. KK's aunt, my aunt, my grandmother, my uncle... at least one person in every family or sometime in their lives have cancer. I remember how I get when I receive bad news about other people dying who are non-Christian. I initially feel nothing, then the reality seeps in uninvited, and after a while everything I look at resembles cold gray metal. My thoughts slow down into a slumberous crawl and I reserve any excessive emotional expression.

If I know myself, I'm triggering a self defense mechanism to ward of the feeling of grief and loss; of helplessness and inadequacy when faced with a dying person craving spiritual guidance and hope. Perhaps I feel the burden to share Christ with them in their last moments, to brightly testify about the eternal hope in our Savior; but still, the stink of death permeates every pore of her body...and she has surrendered even before setting out to do battle. And there's nothing I can do, but to watch them die before the Gospel can leave my lips.

I know our Spirit is eternal, even after it leaves our mortal bodies. Everything comes from dust returns to dust, and the body surrenders the spirit once it reaches its expiration here on the earth. Everyone suffers death eventually, right. Life is so short, and I don't want to be caught whining about the things I wish I DID when I had the chance but didin't do (due to lack of time, kids, lack of funds, etc..)

Moving House

The thing about moving is, you start to hope everyone you meet will have own a van and will be kind enough to lend it to you. I ended up having to leave my mattress and bedframe because of the hassle of moving them over to the new apartment. The other problem is the few cheapo pieces of furniture I fancy in IKEA is no way going to be mine unless I spend RM65 on the delivery. A "small fee" which can allow me to buy a small thermo pot in Tesco. T_T ... I'm starting to sound like an obasan... Then there's the catastrophe with the balcony sliding door curtains. It's half a feet shorter than the glass sliding doors and I bet that people from the outside can see out feet padding around from the inside of the sliding doors. Oh brother. BUT anyway, the curtains' totally luscious material and blue color looks so nice... I congratulate myself and KK for our good taste. :p I'm glad I took Veron's advice to select blackout cloth as it will not bring in the problem of glare when we put in the computer and TV. 'Tis good to have her around for furnishing tips. :D We're still waiting for the electrical and some other big pieces of furniture to come in this Saturday. Beyond that is just checking out IKEA for the GORM storage solution for my tons of books, mangas and magazines. It's still basically much more affordable than the IVAR series. Then there's the KAXAS, the POANG, the MUREN. And all of a sudden I'm fluent in Swedish! :D

The IVAR


The GORM


Ah, my head hurts...