Depression

Women are more prone to depression than men. I just found out. For different stages in her life, she stresses over different issues.

I read this from a book I borrowed from the church library, just because I want to learn more about my depressive moods. My mood swings don't really spell normal, up to 2-3 lows in a week without any apparent reason. Think I caught this Depression bug in the last few years. Out of the 18 symptoms of Depression I meet 17 of 'em. T_T Oh man!

In her adolescense, a woman grieves and is fearful of leaving her parents and home, needing to venture out by herself. Then in her 20s, the female creature basically worries about finding a mate, building a family, and at the same time trying hard to maintain a balance while earning a living.

As she rolls into her 30s, the woman starts feeling claustrophobic as her options decrease. Those who chooses to be homemakers and nurturers will experience doubts if they've made the right choice of snuffing up their career paths earlier in their 20s. Same goes for the corporate female who poured all her time and attention into her career; who will now suffer second thoughts about her priorities.

At her 40s, her male counterpart reaches the prime of their lives. The world considers them attractive and successful...as opposed to a 40-something woman who's lost the glow of her youth. Women this age tend to get depressed over the lost of their youth and physical attractive.

And the list goes on to describe how her children finally leaves her, forcing her to redefine her identity as a mother. And as women enter old age, the worse comes when they lose their spouses. Generally, women have a longer lifespan compared to men. This difference could mean an average of 7-8 years without companionship. When a life partner of many years dies, sometimes the will to survive goes with it as well.

I've seen this in my grandmother in the first few months when my grandfather died. She started making preparations to get herself a burial plot and coffin...exactly all ready to join my granddad. Thank God for children and grandkids. We flocked around her, fought her battles for her, coddled her and basically pushed her back up from the chasm she dug herself in.

The book also said some people are more vulnerable to depression compared to others. Their minds resemble fertile soil for Depression seeds. Eventhough Depression is actually a parasitical weed, we tend to treat it like a prized rose. Undeniably, there is a certain selfish pleasure derived from nurturing self-pity. So, the more attention we lavish it, the deeper the roots go. Before you know it, you're experiencing 'blues' and 'downs' and don't feel like going out, nor talking to people. All there is is just hopelessness, and the meaning of existence just blurs. That's when suicidal tendencies come in. x__x

I feel that one of the most useful ways to handle Depression is to not dwell on past hurtful events and to keep yourself distracted with physical activities. Shopping is one sure good technique if you have cash to spare ahaha... or better yet, sports or take a stroll.

Been Busy

The not-very-nifty Ending Screen of FFIX

Yes! I've completed Final Fantasy IX! .... Ah, but sadly I did not complete the Chocobo Hot n Cold Quests or even try out the Dead Peppers. There were about 4 Chocographs which I found but did not hunt in the World Map. Lazy mah... just grabbed the treasure with the Pumice Piece, went off to Memoria to fight Hades and got Dagger's Ark Summon! Woohoo!!! Damn the summon animation's nice.... :D :D :D

THe following night KK completed Kingdom Hearts 2. Yes, the RM2k digital camera is put to good use at last. Hahahaaa~~~

Quite a bit of stuff still yet to be unlocked. No Final Form yet though. =(


Riku's pants were pretty irritating. So baggy that it's illegallll....


Disney + Squaresoft = $$$

Greener Grass

There's actually a number of headhunters calling up every few days about job openings in various MNCs. They pipe on and on about superb benefits and mind-boggling increment and bonuses in these prospective companies...and how green and yummy the pasture at the other side's looking. It's so bad that I'm slowly developing a sort dissatisfaction with my current employer. While my defenses are slowly deterioraring, I'm really hoping that by the end of April there'll be favorable news about my pay review. My boss' actually promising a review of my salary up to the market rate, i.e. 20% more of what I'm currently earning.

Ah well.

Just yesterday, my headhunter informed me about opening in Accenture for HR ABAP Consultants and ABAP Team Lead. He's telling me that I can be paid 40% more from what I'm making. Sighhhh.....

Despite the good money I'm missing, I still prefer the pleasant work environment here. There's never a dull moment and I truly enjoy the flexibility of workhours. What's the best, we do not believe in too much overtime. My boss used to say that she finds pride in how her department has no need to put in overtime because work is done efficiently and fast.

Also, there's the benefit of seniority here since I've been in this company for 3 years. There's juniors to order around, people that respect you for what you've already proven, projects to manage, and still tons to learn. :) It's always so great to be able to do a good job and gain the appreciation of your users. I guess that's partly why I'm in the support field. It's going to take more than money to make me go back into the consultancy field hehehe...

I'm very thankful to my heavenly Father who gave me all this so that I will not have to go through the needless pain of changing jobs, ('jumping ships' is how they put it in Chinese) readapting to new people, stressing about my career path, etc. This is truly a great place to work in and my colleague who joined a few months ago just commented that she's really liking it here (besides the too-cold aircon).

I guess sometimes people change jobs because their dissatisfied with the management, or their pay, or the workload. I did go through some of that and I'm glad I did not take the fastest road out by jumping at the next alluring job offer that appears at my doorstep. With the right company, it DOES pay to be faithful. :)